Revert now and get free magic carpet with one of the 72 virgins! (Picture courtesy of Islam4UKAirforce)
SHARIA DECLARED ON PLANET SKARO!
Anjem Choudary
12th April 1390 (HI) (2012)
'I very happy to report that our Especial Islamic Envoy To Reverted Brethren Daleks, Ali has met with great success and soon the sharia will rule the galaxy. Our new brothers are beside themselves, with joy to find they are a long lost tribe of Moslems but as usual, superior Islamic technology has allowed us in the new Kilaphate here in the UK, to find our lost brothers, some of whom come with already adapted burka machines- so proving beyond doubt their Islamic origins- and their welcome of Islam4Skaro, can only be described as ecstatic and latest word from Ali, our interplanetary Islamic envoy, seems indeed to indicate, this is an understatment- as of course all should be delighted at the news of the sharia being established in line with the teachings of the Holy Prophet- Blessings be upon him and Allah, who in His wisdom -even greater blessings be upon Him- has allowed the global Umah to share this First Contact situation to be achieved through His divine Islamic mercy with a lost tribe of our Dalek Bretheren. Isn't Islamic technology wonderful?
It all began one night last week when Ali was deep in trance and in direct contact with the Divine Source of all wisdom (PBUH a thousand times), when Allah the Munificent and Finder of lost souls, revealed to Ali via our transdimensional Islamic contact trance- of course superior to western technology- proving of course we invented supposed Western technology, centuries before we gave it to you- like the atomic bomb, submarines, spacraft etc – but npbody in the Media like the BBC will ever admit to- but don't worry Allah knows about this (PBUH a million times) and they will burn in hell fire....'
Phone rings.....
'Excuse me it's Ali on the interplanetary link.....
Coughs nervously....
'Yes Ali how is going with our new Dalek Moslem brothers?'
Phone crackles...
'I don't know Anjem, they're getting terribly excited!'
'Calm down Ali, fix your mind on the Holy Prophet (PBUH), think of the extra virgins and
eternal fame in Paradise when you finally go to receive your reward?'
'But Anjem I don't want to go to Paradise now!'
'What do you mean Ali?'
'Well they make me nervous- they keep asking if I am a good Moslem?'
'Oh don't be silly...everybody knows you are! Tell me one thing Ali?
phone crackles 'Islamate! Islamate! Islamate!'
'Ali...Come in Ali...Can you hear me Ali?'
'Please Anjem I don't like it here they scare me!'
'Trust me Ali..It's only a passing phase..they are obviously overjoyed at becoming
good Moslems again!'
'For crying out loud Anjem!'
'Calm down Ali!'
'If you say so!'
'Islamate! Islamate! Islamate! We are supreme Moslems!' There is only one Dalek
Prophet and He is Mohammed! Islamate! Islamate!'
'Please Anjem can I come home now!'
'Keep calm Ali!'...
'Oi'll try Anjem!' now very nervous.....
'Can you ask them one question Ali?'
'Wot?'
'Ali do they have women Daleks? Are the black burka machines women Ali?'
'Repeat please'
'No Anjem they are not women but some kind of Black Dalek!'
'Well what a surprise Ali! That should be good for our black brothers!'
'Sorry Anjem- I don't understand?'
'I said it is good to know that black Daleks exist and that is one in the eye for the western kuffars Ali- these obviously Moslem black Daleks will be a good selling point to revert the West London black community! Isn't Allah most merciful and magnificent in the wondrous ways he works (PBUH a thousand times)!?'
'Anjem what the hell are you going on about!'
Phone crackles .....'Islamate! Islamate! Islamate! Sharia will rule the Universe!'
'Gosh Ali it sounds as if they really are dead keen! What a victory Ali!'
'For f**** sake Anjem! Wot are you on about? This lot scare me!'
'Calm down Ali! They are so happy to rediscover Allah that's all! (PBUH a thousand times!)'
Phone crackles again.....'Islamate! Islamate! We are supreme Moslems! Islamate! Islamate!'
Choudary turning to interviewer 'Can you now not see how wonderful Allah is (a million blessings upon Him)!'
Phone crackles....'Anjem for crying out loud...what the hell have you started? Lissen to this...
'Islamate! Islamate! We are supreme Moslems! Islamate! You are an enemy of the Moslems!.......
'Anjem please lissen..... Isamate! Islamate!...phone crackles followed by loud high pitched scream. Phone goes dead.....
Anjem stares into the phone- coughs 'Just a bit overkeen- Daleks will be Daleks of course? Ali? Ali? Can you hear me?
Sorry can we cut this interview short!
